Reflections on the Honor Code
The Joy of Conscious Integrity
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When I was asked to make these remarks, my first reaction was: “What do I know about honor at St. Margaret’s?” The honor of an institution is a very specific, almost personal thing. I obviously never have been a student here. I have never lived in your dorms nor studied in the classrooms here on the Rappahannock River. I have little experience with the traditions of St. Margaret’s as they pertain to the playing fields, class relationships, or the internal workings of the student body. But let me say this: I know all I need to know because you have an Honor Code and system that sets forth the same concepts as in the prayer of my alma mater, the U.S. Military Academy. One does not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those who do. I hope you will take pride in the fact that your school’s honor is closely linked to some of the most prestigious and honorable institutions in the nation, including not only West Point, but also Mary Washington College, Virginia Military Institute, and the University of Virginia. I have spoken to graduates of all these institutions, and the common thread to all of their memories has to do with trust. They revel in the fact that they come from institutions of integrity and have, in their classmates, a vast companionship of trust. We live in a nation that depends on trust. Our legal system, our economy, even our traffic system presumes that we can trust one another not to go through the stop signs of life. Our stock market, our health providers, and our law enforcement system are largely dependent on the assumption that they can trust the citizenry. And here, in the society of St. Margaret’s, there is also a climate of trust that is a vital and essential part of what it means to be a member of this society, of this community, of this fellowship. Personally, I can tell you that over the years, my wife Dodie, who was president of the Mary Washington Honor Council, and I have developed and fostered a number of ideas about the concept of honor and of what it means to live, study, and thrive in an environment of truth, honesty, and fair dealing. We both feel strongly that our experiences in institutions with strong, vital, meaningful honor codes have enriched our lives and made us more productive citizens. Those experiences also have been a vital element of our marriage and the relationships we have with our children and the rest of our family, and with our friends and co-workers. So, let me offer a few thoughts to you on the importance of this day here at St. Margaret’s and in the broader scope of our lives in general. The movie “The Perfect Storm” was filmed in the town of Gloucester, Massachusetts. On the high ground north of town is an areas known as Dog Town Common, where the jogging and walking trails wind through an old wooded area strewn with huge granite boulders the size of Volkswagen Beetles. Many years ago, a thoughtful, benevolent local citizen had many of these boulders chiseled with foot-high letters providing guides for leading a good, virtuous life. I guess you could call these boulders a kind of nineteenth-century graffiti. One rock reads, “Work Hard!” Another cautions, “Tell the Truth.” One says, “Be Cheerful.” As you pass on, you read: Get a Job, Be Thrifty, Keep Promises, Fear God, Stay Clean, Give to the Poor. And my personal favorite–and I am sure this will strike a special note of harmony with this audience–”Help Mother!” Probably since the dawn of time, communities have sought to transfer to their children in one form or another the truths derived from their historical, communal, and spiritual experience. The rules for a successful, healthy, productive life: life within the bounds of the community. This process begins very early with such strictures to children as: “Don’t play with fire!” or “Don’t talk to strangers!” and later, “Don’t drink and drive.” Most of those early cautions have to do with survival. But these old saws, as well as others, such as those on the stones in Gloucester and in the honor codes of St. Margaret’s and West Point and Mary Washington College also reflect the collective experience of the community, and they deserve our attention. Without those virtues, where is trust? The virtues on the boulders of Gloucester represent the guides to a positive life. But human nature being what it is, we have to admit that we have to guard against the negative weaknesses of human nature–the tendency to be indifferent, to be lazy, to seek extremes of self satisfaction, to be distrustful, and unfortunately, sometimes to be cruel, spiteful, and just downright mean. I recently heard of an old Native American tradition that might be of interest to the parents here today. In many Native American tribes, the education of the children is left to the grandparents. The story is told that an old Indian grandfather told his grandchildren that in his breast were two wolves fighting with each other. The evil one growled for selfishness, laziness, greed, hatred, duplicity, bigotry, power, deception, gluttony, and self indulgence. The other wolf argued in his heart for generosity, compassion, understanding, honesty, diligence, courage, and selflessness. The grandfather went on to tell the children that not only were these wolves at odds in his heart; they were also in all of their hearts, and indeed, in every person’s heart. One of the children asked: “Grandfather, which wolf will win?” And he responded: “It all depends on your choice. It depends on which of the two wolves you choose to feed.” The key word here is choice. Earlier this year at West Point, and at Mary Washington, and at the University of Virginia, and countless other places in our nation, incoming students were asked to step up and make a choice: will I accept this honor code, or not? Will I pledge to live it and support it in every way, or am I going to choose to go down another path, one strewn with rocks that read, “Me First.” The West Point Cadet Prayer contains the following plea: “Help us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong, and never to be content with a half truth when the whole can be won.” “Help us to choose....” That’s what we are all about here today. St. Margaret’s School, its faculty, alumnae, parents, and most important of all, your fellow students, are helping you to choose; to choose to feed the good wolf in your heart; to take pride in being part of such a vital and honest community which holds in high esteem the honor of St. Margaret’s School. |
  The SMS Honor Code "On my honor, I will not lie, cheat, or steal. In adition, I will take responsibility for those in our community who do so" "We live in a nation that depends on trust... and here, in the society of St. Margaret's, there is also a climate of trust that is a vital and essential part of what it means to be a member of this community." We Can Trust Each Other
I attended a large, urban public school for grades 7-9. It was a pretty chaotic environment. Teachers wanted to teach, but students’ behavior made it difficult. They just didn’t respect the adults or each other. It was hard for me, because I wanted to learn, and had been raised to know right from wrong.
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