Commencement 2005
Remember, reflect and grow

Dr. Carlotta Gordon Miles, M.D.      There are direct paths from today’s experiences to the lives you will be living many years from now.
      If you are a high school student who wants to accomplish things in her life and who wants to influence the thinking of others through your example, opinion and expertise, the first task you must undertake is to decide what kind of life appeals to you. Are you a leader or a follower? Are you a risk-taker, thinker, writer, performer, sportsperson? Are you more comfortable with people or working alone?
        While the St. Margaret’s experience is still fresh, I want you to reflect on what was your most challenging experience and what was your most rewarding experience. I’d like you to think about the adult you will miss the most when you leave here, and I’d like for you to think about the you that you are taking away and how she is different from the you who came here.
       Lastly, but by no means least, never forget the friendships that you have forged. Stay in touch with each other and continue to help each other grow. Remember your friends for the difference they have made in your life. Some taught you by example, others taught you by their mistakes, but all were important because you learned from each other the value of friendship.
      St. Margaret’s has played an important role in your lives at an important time in your lives. I hope that you always will feel lucky to have found it.

The above is excerpted from the Commencement address given by Carlotta Gordon Miles, M.D., a child and adolescent psychiatrist and psychoanalyst in private practice in Washington, DC. She earned her B.A. in Physical Science from Wheaton College and her M.D. from Howard University, followed by a fellowship in child and adolescent psychiatry at the Children’s Hospital of Washington. Dr. Miles is a nationally known speaker and writer on child advocacy and child and adolescent development. She knows independent schools well, having graduated from Cushing Academy, served as a trustee of the Madeira School and the Potomac School, on the advisory board of D.C. Preparatory Academy, and as a clinical consultant to the National Cathedral School. She is the proud godmother of Ciara Robinson ’05.


Dr. Miles’ Prescription for Graduates

1] These are your practicing and polishing years. Be sure to exploit them by trying out any and every project that appeals to you. Don’t be afraid to take risks and don’t be afraid to fail. Failing pushes you to learn to recover and the process teaches you to be resilient.

2] Give some thought to the kind of life you would like to live. Look at the adults in your life and see if there are any you admire. Make sure to talk to someone who is over 80 years of age, and ask them what they have been proud of in their life and what their greatest regrets have been. Unfortunately, for many people, life is lived forward and understood backward. You might be able to save yourselves some time if you do this.

3] Practice things that impose discipline upon you. It is needed in every kind of career. Get things in on time. Try and eliminate excuses from your daily life. Even a mediocre performance beats a good excuse. Aim for your personal best. Success builds confidence.

4] Find your creative spirit and find ways to express it. It will keep you warm for the rest of your life, feeding your soul and making life shine more brightly.

5] Learn that we live in a big universe.
Get to know people who don’t look like you and who come from faraway places. Rid yourselves of assumptions about people; always let them tell you who they are.

6] Remember, being good at school only means one thing–you’re good at school. What you are shooting for is to be good at life.

7] Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Maintain your enthusiasm for what you are passionate about. Do not simply accept what others want you to do and don’t ever be afraid to change your mind.